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Why Do Men Have Affairs?

Apr 28, 2016

Women are often curious about exactly what makes a man to have an affair. In most cases, men are always looking for sex–new sex, more sex–and that is usually the motivation for them to have affairs. But sometimes cheating can be quite complex for men–they go that way to recover their lost youth, avoid intimacy, or escape an unhappy marriage.

Why Do Men Have Affairs?

Different factors can motivate a man to cheat and get into another relationship. Here are some possible explanations.

1. Improve Sex Life

The most common reason men get into a relationship with another women is that they do not find sexual satisfaction in their primary relationship and cheat for a better sex life.

2. Desire for More Sexual Encounters

Some men are sexually more active with a sense of adventure, and they start an affair just to satisfy their sense of adventurism and desire for more sexual encounters. Some studies have found that some men believe they should get more sex because they perform well at their jobs.

3. Seek Emotional Intimacy

It is not always lust for men, but some start an affair to enjoy some emotional intimacy. They usually do this when they do not have an emotional connection with their primary partners.

4. Look for New Experiences

Why do men have affairs? Some do it just because they want to try something new. They take it a way to measure their sexual prowess. They take it as a challenge to get into a relationship with a particular woman.

5. Get Appreciation

Men feel more connected to women who appreciate them. Unfortunately, when partners grow apart, they lose that emotional connection and stop acknowledging the needs they have in their relationships.

6. Other Reasons

Some people lose emotional and sexual connection with their primary partners and eventually fall out of love with them. Falling in love with someone else may also be a reason why men decide to cheat and have affair. Some men fear intimacy and they often start an affair to maintain power in their relationships. They do not get emotionally involved with the other women and do not want to get into an intimate relationship with their wives as well. In some cases, men may stray and cheat because they take it as a way to hurt their primary partners.

What to Do If Your Partner Has Affairs

Learning "why do men have affairs" is not enough to save your relationship if you find your partner cheating on you. Here are some advice on what you can do when your partner has an affair.

1. Get the Facts Straight

Never jump to a conclusion if someone else tells you that your partner is cheating on you. Get your facts straight and ensure the information you have is correct. Do not shy away from having a conversation with your partner to know if it is really happening and exactly what made your partner to take that step in the first place. You may also want to get information about exactly when the infidelity occurred, how many times it happened, and the status of your partner's relationship with someone else. Knowing if your partner still wants to continue being in a relationship with you will also help you make a decision about your life.

2. Take Time to Consider

It is obvious to feel stressed and lost after finding out the truth of infidelity. Still, it is important to talk to your partner and listen to what they have to say. Once they have explained their position, take some time alone to think what you need to do next. Tell your partner to not contact you for 2–4 weeks. This will help you understand if you can manage life without them and how emotionally attached you are with them. Just keep in mind that taking drastic measures or showing immediate reaction will make things worse. You should not try to repair relationship right away or finish it in a moment. Take your time. Talk to your best friends about your situation and ask for their advice.

3. Make the Decision

Before making your decision, be sure to consider how severe the cheating was. There is a difference between having an affair on purpose and getting caught up in a moment. Also, consider if this is the first time your partner has cheated or they have done something like that in the past. Know the motivations behind the cheating. Sometimes, a relationship is long over and is not worth salvaging. If you want to save it, know if your partner is also willing to give it another chance and work through this with you.

4. If You Decide to Go

The best thing is to make your exit with dignity. There is no point in trying to hurt your partner or getting in touch with the "other person". When your relationship is past saving, you have to make a clean break and try to learn how to rebuild your life again.

5. If You Decide to Stay

It will be difficult to forgive but possible. Try couples counseling to help rebuild your relationship and learn how to establish a stronger connection. It will not return to normal overnight. The emotional trauma will make your brain to work overtime. Try not to obsess over "why do men have affairs". Use the information you have learnt from the counseling to rebuild trust and connection with your partner without violating his privacy.